marziiporn: ffinnick: throwing sticks of butter at people and saying “the power of paula deen compels you”
precumbabies: if u want to send me nudes im not gonna stop u Basically…
Conversations with my mother
Me: Stop smoking outside my house! I don’t like that! Mom: Who’s smoking? Me: People who smoke!!
Apparently I'm the man of my house.
I’ve sat on the couch, drinking and watching football in my sweatpants while my mom cooked dinner. Now I’m back on the couch, drunkenly watching football I don’t actually care about while my mom cleans up dinner. This is fantastic. Dream come true. Really.
jenifest: wowfunniestposts: (via acciokait-deactivated20101106) I want 1,000 kids so I can design sweet bedrooms like this to stuff them into…
I HATE when people call Thanksgiving “Turkey Day.” Ew.
badassmcg asked: One...ONE of your favorite people on Tumblr?! Motherf-- you better make me #1 or I'll tell everyone about the time you open-mouth kissed a horse. OOPS. There's more where that came from.